world domination will be so much fun!

hello to all my non-existent fans! today i just wanted to introduce myself--i am panda loca, the future empress of the world (in case you don't speak spanish, "panda loca" means "panda crazy." i know this because, even thought i am a white girl, i live in new mexico, so i am very multi-cultural, i.e. i know my numbers and colors and a few other somewhat useful words in spanish. but not any curse words. cursing is more fun in english, anyway).
i wanted to share some of my world domination plan. yes, like many others before me--alexander the great, genghis khan, adolf hitler, dr. drakken--i have a dream of ruling the world, becoming lord (or would that be "lady?" language is so strange that way. i could be "master" of all i see, i guess, but if i said "mistress" that just sounds kinky) of all i see. except for the whole genocide thing, of course. i love everyone!
okay, that's a lie. i don't love everyone. i love everyone except stupid people. when i take over the world, stupidity will definitetly be punishable by death, the more painful the better. i am installing a shark tank in my capitol building, to throw the really really stupid people into. like this woman. the other day i was driving to lunch. now, like most people, i only have an hour for lunch, so i was in something of a hurry so i wouldn't be late. ahead of my car, maybe 50 feet away, a woman decided that, with a car barreling down at her at 40 mph, it would be a good time to stroll across the street. so what did i do? did i slow down and let her finish crossing in peace? of course not! i revved my engine, and even though my car is a grannymobile (huge, unparkable, leather everywhere; it even has the words "florida edition" on the side--how granny is that?) it has a nice loud v8 engine. when that woman heard the engine rev, she picked up her (ugly) skirt and bolted to the other side of the street. it was great!
so yes, this blog will mostlly be rants about stupid people doing stupid things that i wish were illegal so that they could be thrown in jail and i wouldn't have to watch/listen to them anymore. from time to time, i may also talk about things that i actually like, or that make me happy, but i wouldn't hold my breath, if i were you.