Shut Up

I really despise small talk. My feeling is, if you don't have something important and substantial to say, then why are you opening your mouth? There isn't enough clean oxygen left to support the planet...we don't need you using it up with your stupid ramblings. And yet there are many situations where people seem to be uncomfortable if they can't think of something to say. And then there are people who just love to talk but don't really have anything to say that anyone wants to listen to.

There are a great many people at my work who have that problem. They always want to talk when they are waiting for the elevator, but they very rarely have anything to say that I find the least bit interesting. A "Hi" or "How are you?" would be fine. But instead, I have to listen to comments like: "Cheer up! You look grumpy!" or (on a Friday) "So it's finally Friday!" Like I don't know what day of the week it is.

But the absolute worst of the bunch are the people who ask questions to which the answers are glaringly obvious. For instance, if I have just cut and/or dyed my hair, I am treated to "Oh, did you cut/dye your hair?" Or when they look at pictures of my daughter and say "Wow, she's growing!" Like that's a shocker! What else do children do, shrink? Or another favorite "Wow, it's raining/snowing!" Because I can't see through glass well enough to see the weather myself.

Man, people are stupid.

Another thing that bugs me (and this has absolutely nothing to do with small talk, but it's been bugging me lately, so I have to add it to my rant) is women wearing stupid boots, especially with dresses. Now, boots are great, worn properly. But properly does not include wearing cowboy boots with sundresses, or high-waters with zip up ankle boots, or big black platform stripper boots to work. Get a grip, people! Go buy some nice boots with a small heel, and wear them with pants or a skirt that is actually long enough. Otherwise, you just look like a freak.

Sorry, I don't really have a lot of coherent thoughts right now. It's almost time to go home from work, and I can't concentrate on my monkey work anymore, so I am just typing and frowning at the screen so that I look busy. Because if I look busy, people are less likely to talk to me. Like George Costanza said, if you frown a lot, people think you are very busy, and that keeps people from talking to me. And anything that keeps people from talking to me (and I am not ruling out global nuclear war in this sentence) can only be a plus.